she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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