Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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