Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
