Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
