I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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