I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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