Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
whose parrot is this?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
