marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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