that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
