She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
