I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
smell my finger.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
