i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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