I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
