For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize