Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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