I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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