So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
