think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
