This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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