Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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