Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
