I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
