I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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