Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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