To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
