I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
