she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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