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• (562): View more from California

  she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  AMAZING.

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• (714): View more from California

  I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom

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• (310): View more from California

  I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.

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• (510): View more from California

  So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later

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• (845): View more from New York

  I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices

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• (478): View more from Georgia

  You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?

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