Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
