I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Randomize
