mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
never play flip cup with pint glasses
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
