Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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