i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
