farters have to be the big spoon...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
