Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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