just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize