Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
