Plan B is the new Plan A
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
