I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
