apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
