I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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