How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
