Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
People in love make me want to vomit
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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