just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
