I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
