i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Dear god my vagina.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
