The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize