at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
