So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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