I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
