Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
