k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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