Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Randomize