sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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