Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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