why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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