I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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