All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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