My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
