you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
