don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
