Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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