dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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